Live blog of the MTV: Video Music Awards beginning at 8pm with the RED CARPET ARRIVALS
**WARNING** This is a very long post and I apologize
7:59PM
Tokyo Hotel
- Why is Sway still on MTV? I swear this dude has not been promoted in years, since like Carson Daily was on TRL. Can someone please give this man a new job?!?
- Who is this dude in the penguin suit with the accent? I have never seen him before. Does MTV sign his checks?
- Isn’t that Kim chick the butch lesbian from ANTM??? (sorry GLAAD)
- T.I. happens to be the sexiest man on the face of this earth, bump what you heard, dude can get it on any day and twice on Sunday (sorry Tiny…. please don’t cut me)
- Who told TAYLOR SWIFT to wear that gold hot ass mess?!?
- Can someone kick KATY PERRY saying “what it do baby boo?” How dare her! If i were in the limo with her I would have judo-chopped her in the throat
- What the hell have TOKYO HOTEL contributed to MTV?? Guess I wouldn’t know since I don’t watch anything on that channel (unless it’s Making the Band, lol)
- John Norris is like 50 and he is still reporting on MTV…. damn, maybe him and Sway should have applied to be Diddy’s assistant
8:13PM
T Pain
- T PAIN has lost his fu*king mind…. all of the fuckery in the world would not add up to this circus freak show that he has decided to roll in on. WHO IN THE NAME OF THE PET SHOP BOYS LET THIS FREAK OF NATURE OUT OF THE HOUSE?!? I’m done. I can’t. And I will not.
- This dude with the comb-over and the wack Amy Winehouse jokes just made me want to throw a curling iron at him
- Wow! Is PINK still relevant? I love her hair tho.
- What is with that 20in yaki hanging out of the back of JORDIN SPARKS ponytail?!?
8:23PM
- Tim Kash…. that’s his name!
- Why would I vote between T Pain and Tokyo Hotel?!? They both made me throw up in my mouth
- Sway is something like a stalker???
- Who rented this 16 passenger van for PANIC AT THE DISCO, like was a limo just too much?
- What in the Tina Knowles closet does KATY PERRY have on?? And how was MILEY CYRUS her “special guest”……… ummhumm, special guest (maybe a girl that she kissed??)
- MICHAEL PHELPS is a freak of nature. I’ve been saying it from day one and I’ll continue to say it and is it just me or does your skin crawl when John Norris says “Jeezy”?
8:32PM
Lupe Fiasco
- Ya’ll know I love AMERICA’S BEST DANCE CREW - this is just the icing on the cake…. Kaba Modern are my folks and I’d be damned if they ain’t kill that shit!
- LUPE loves Kaba Modern!
- Never been a fan of Fanny Pack, could care less. Yawn!
- Why is Sway telling Tim to “put it in the hips”?? Damn negros!
- As Janet would say, what have the JONAS BROTHERS done for me lately?
8:42PM
- CHRISTINA is wearing the hell outta that dress, chick is bad!
- Does Sway really not know what BFF means??
- What in the SAW V happened when SLIPKNOT got dressed this morning? That ish is creepy and I can’t believe they let them come into the show like that. MTV will allow anything - damn them
8:49PM
Ciara
- Damn, ASHLEE SIMPSON is knocked up! That ish is in the water. What the little sisters having baby’s before the big sisters (cough.cough. Solange)
- KOBE BRYANT’s wife just makes me angry. She looks at him like she’s never heard words spoken before. I think there is helium between her ears. Gold diggin ass chicks!
- Who doesn’t love PARAMORE? If you don’t, than you can suck ass
- This damn dude with the comb over, once again! His jokes are just NOT good, at all
- Who gave CIARA Beyonce’s old wig and Madonna’s old dress? Chick is making it really hard for me to like her this year
8:58PM
- Is PARIS HILTON still relevant without a dick in or around her mouth (thanks Superbad)
- Yes, the kid with the accent is gone!
9:00PM
- JONAH HILL and BRITNEY SPEARS make me so happy but if this is how they’re opening the show, I’m muting my television right….. now! Britany is so not funny, for the record
- Why are they playing ‘Baby, One More Time’? That was sooooo 1998 and wayyyy before her crazy breakdown (oh and kidnapping her children). Thank Matthew Knowles that she didn’t perform!
- Oh RIHANNA what can we do about this craziness? But can we first get you some vocal lessons, please? I’ll front the bill if you pay me back - the world will thank me later
- I’ll give $20 to the first person who can tell me why I need to know who RUSSELL BRAND is? And $40 goes to anyone who will comb the back of his hair.
- WOW! He took it too far…………………….. MTV + Politics = an idiot from the UK babbling like a fool
- And now, I press MUTE
9:15PM
- JAMIE FOXX brings it all home for me, thank goodness. And the T.I. jokes were on point - how come he didn’t host it? Guess MTV wasn’t paying them ALI bucks.
- BEST FEMALE ARTIST: And the winner is……………. BRITNEY SPEARS, it’s about damn time
- Exactly what have Heidi and Spencer done for mankind? I don’t think they adopted an African baby??
- TRAVIS BARKER is nasty on the drums homie!
9:27PM
- Damn, Ashton is hittin’ DEMI on a regular
- BEST MALE VIDEO: And the winner is…………………. CHRIS BROWN, With You - homeboy looks goods. Damn that Rihanna
- Can someone please teach TAYLOR SWIFT how to read off a teleprompter, thank you!
- Is it imperative that I know who the Jonas Brothers are?
9:38PM
Lil Wayne
- Russell Brand is gonna need some vagisil for his yeast infection in them tight ass pants
- MICHAEL PHELPS is like a God (not by my standards) but he can’t read a teleprompter either, what is the big fucking deal….. is he nervous
- Never really got down with LEONA LEWIS and you should already know how I feel about WAYNE
- The sight of T PAIN makes me want to remove all his sperm so that he can never reproduce, ANYTHING…. I don’t even want dude to have a dog or a goldfish
- BEST DANCING IN A VIDEO: And the winner is WAIT! Lindsay Lohan is sober and can read! Oh yeah, and the winner is………………………. THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS, When I Grow Up, yawn
- Did Melanie just not get the memo on what NOT to wear? Someone needs to tell that bitch Nicole S. to shut the hell up, there are four other chicks on stage
9:56PM
Danity Kane
- Who invited DANITY KANE they don’t even like each other
- I love PARAMORE
10:07PM
- Why is Russell Brand trying to penetrate the Jonas Brothers?
- Shia looks wet!
- BEST ROCK VIDEO: And the winner is…………………. LINKIN PARK, Shadow of the Day
- Damn, PINK is a woman scorned. I know her husband is one lonely sad sucker, unless he’s bangin’ some new hot piece of ass
10:21PM
- ASHLEE and PETE make my skin crawl, just something about them doesn’t set right in my stomach
- BEST HIP HOP VIDEO: And the winner is………………………. LIL WAYNE, Lollipop, well I’ll be dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs (don’t remember where…. but google it)
- JOHN LEGEND! Who in the hell invited him? Was he going through someone else’s mail and picked up an unwanted invite addressed to Jay Z, maybe
- And TAYLOR SWIFT, you’re a slut in my eyes - HA!
- T.I. is such a gentleman but why does that chick look like Superhead??
- Don’t get me started on Rihanna again…… you already know. But honestly CHICK IS BAD AS HELL
10:37PM
- XTINA back on an MTV stage, post baby and without the “Dirty mix”…… yeah, well she hasn’t lost her lip-syncing abilities. I give those tit-tays two thumbs WAYY DOWN (thanks Dave)
- BEST NEW ARTIST: And the winner is…………………. TOKYO HOTEL, and for some reason neither one of the presenters sounded excited about their winning! LOL
- MUTE
10:51PM
- PARIS can’t read. Period.
- BEST POP VIDEO: And the winner is……………….. BRITNEY SPEARS, yet again. Enough is enough
- WHY DO THEY ALWAYS DICK THE LITTLE MAN AND HAVE HIM PERFORM AS THE COMMERCIAL STARTS TO PLAY, LUPE and they did that shit to Wale last year. FUCKERS!
10:59PM
- Damn, MIA is really popular
- It’s time for KID ROCK, but who asked him to perform and for what reason?
- When does this sh*t ever end!
- LIL WAYNE really let someone talk him into thinking he is a rock star; tight jeans, lip ring and all
11:10PM
- What has KOBE done for MTV? Guess he brings the colored folk
- VIDEO OF THE YEAR: And the winner is………………. BRITNEY SPEARS, Piece of Me - chick has out one song and it wins all these damn awards! Who the fuck allowed that shit?!?
- Where is Dave Chappelle and his ‘Wrap It Up’ box, cuz it’s time for this shit to end
- Oh lord, KANYE WEST on MTV, it never ends good.
**all photos provided by VMA.MTV.com & AP**
